I don’t know about you, I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve either told myself to get out of my own way or been told by someone, “get out of your own way”.Get Out Of Our Own Way

So, how do we get out of our own way?

Although I understand the spirit and meaning of the statements mentioned above and even believe in them, the truth is, I’m tired of saying it to myself and I don’t like it when someone says it to me.  They seem like an over-used axioms or platitudes,  buzz words when someone doesn’t know what to say to me and/or I feel compelled to say it to myself.

Can you relate?

When I say it to myself, I often have to think long and hard about what I did or what I need to do to get out of my own way.  Although the answer sometimes reveals itself, rarely am I able to fully answer the question(s).

When someone says it to me, I often ask for his or her input and inquire why they said what they said and/or if he/she has any suggestions about what I might do in the future in order to stay out of my own way.  I sometimes receive positive feedback and a viable suggestion.  Usually it’s something to the effect of just let it happen, or stop trying to control the outcome and just concentrate on the process.

Those suggestions make perfect sense on an intellectual level.  So why does it continue to be a problem?

The answer is I don’t know!

 


How It Works

The purpose of this website and the reason I’ve started it is to connect with others who identify and/or struggle with the same dilemma.

I may or may not be in a position to tell you what you need to do and/or how to stay out of your own way.  You may or may not be in a position to tell me or anyone how to stay out of my own way.  However, what if we are able to share our own experience(s), struggles, and solutions with others?  Rather than anyone telling anyone else what they should do, we can simply be honest with ourselves and others.  If others can relate to what we’ve been through and how we’ve struggled, how we’ve handled difficult situations, and ultimately how we’ve at least tried to resolve struggles, issues, and difficult situations, perhaps we can all learn from one another.

There is a wide variety of subjects to choose from.  It can range from the simplest to the most complex.

The common denominators are three basic concepts:

  • Honesty
  • Respect
  • Best Effort

The idea is to be honest about our own issues, respectfully relate with others, and to the best of our collective ability, try to help others and ourselves work through the often largest barrier in our lives–ourselves.

It is not to attack or belittle anyone or to try to authoritatively tell anyone what he/she should do.

We’re all in this thing we call life together.

Ultimately, it is about discovering and sharing realistic, altruistic solutions that can and will apply to as many people as possible.


A Little About Me

I’m a single, sixty-something guy from Southern California who’s been through a lot.  I’ve had many setbacks, as have all of us.  I’ve also had many personal victories and have accomplished things I once thought were unattainable.  On the other hand, I’m at an age when many my age are planning retirement, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

The bottom line is there’s a lot on my bucket list.  I have a lot of untapped potential and have stood in my own way for much if not most of my life.

One of the things on my bucket list is to have a thriving website that helps many people which is why started this site.  By becoming a premium member at Wealthy Affiliate I am on my way to accomplish that goal.

I will be as transparent and respectfully unfiltered and honest to the best of my ability about the good, bad, and ugly in my life and the world around me as I see it.

Although there may not be a simple answer to the question, (how do we get out of our own way?), we can do our best to understand how and why we’re in our own way so we can then focus on the solution of getting out of the way.

Feel free to leave comments or questions.  I will respond asap.

  1. Hi Bob! Just read your how get out of our own way post!
    Very well written post, it targets a topic that I reckon many people on this world deals with in their life time.
    I felt being of this group of peple because, as my girlfried says every now and then, I am my worst critic on things I do in life. I am pretty young so have a lot to see yet in life, that’s why I adopt a certain half full glass prospective of myself rather than being my own wost enemy.
    I think your webpage could truely help people having this type of dilemma, besides from helping kick starting a personal mentality one needs to have towards it.

    Great job, keep up the good work!

    And thanks for my reading.

    Thomas

    • Hi Thomas,

      I think you’re right.  Many people deal with this issue and either don’t realize it and/or can’t/won’t admit it.  Like what your girlfriend says to you about being your own worst critic, I can’t tell you how many people have said the same to me.  The glass-half-full mentality is a good one.  I have to keep that in mind because I often forget that.

      My goal is to reach as many people as possible who struggle with this dilemma.

      Thanks for your comments.

      Bob

  2. Thanks for your refreshing article. I often try and meditate and meditation teachers say that you need to get out of your own way. Its the repetition of thought that people find hard to silence. Our minds can be like a radio that never switches off. I think we sabotage ourselves but then again we don’t live in simple times.

    • Hi Dave, 

      Meditation is good.  You’re so right about our minds being like a radio.  Yes, we/I sabotage ourselves/myself way too often.  Not sure why that happens but in my case I’d be lying if I said it didn’t/doesn’t.  A lot of people struggle with the concept of spirituality (not talking about religion here) and think we are human beings trying to have a spiritual experience.  I subscribe to the notion that we are spiritual being trying to have a human experience.  It’s our humanness that gets in our way.  At least that’s the case for me.

      Bob

  3. Hey Bob:

    My own self, I think that very often what stands in our way is basically our fear of making mistakes and looking stupid. The deal is, though, nobody starts out as an “expert.” We are all stupid when we start out. We make lots and lots of mistakes.

    My latest mantra has been, “Aw, pfui! Just go, already!”

    What I’ve figured out, I think, is that just stepping out and starting something is very likely to lead to one mistake (for which you make a correction) which leads to another mistake (for which you make a correction) and so on and so forth.

    If you can figure out how to make DIFFERENT mistakes every time you pick yourself up and start again, then eventually you’ll know lots of different ways to do stuff and maybe you won’t feel like such a dummy any more.

    So far, that plan seems to be working out pretty good.

    • Thanks for your comments.  I can’t argue with your philosophy.  I agree with you.  If it’s working for you, that’s what’s important.  Mistakes are part of life.  If we learn from them, they’re opportunities.  If we don’t and keep making the same mistake(s), that’s when it’s/they’re a problem.  

      Bob

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